My husband once called me a contrarian and then pointed out when I said, ‘Thanks,’ that he hadn’t fully intended it as a compliment!
I looked it up and found the definition as someone who takes an unpopular or contrary view.
While I don’t do this just for the sake of it, nor to be awkward, argumentative or annoying because I see no value in any of those things, I will concede that I often try to look at things differently, and regularly question what I hear of as the ‘norm’. I think that this is rooted in a desire to keep learning and growing, so once again I’m going to go with, ‘Thanks,’ as my response!
Anyway, it got me thinking about FEAR and the conventional, understandable wisdom that we see fear only as ‘limiting’, something to ‘overcome’ and be ‘free’ from in our life and business.
Now, I hate fear as much as the next person and do a lot of mindset work to ‘overcome’ fear-based issues, be ‘free’ from them and stop them holding me back or limiting me.
But I thought I’d take the idea of finding fear a friend for a spin to see where I landed and I’ve decided that there’s something in it.
I know this isn’t an original thought, because the purpose of fear is well documented as being to keep us safe and allow us to respond adequately to danger (a good thing).
But it’s also well documented that we respond to perceived danger too, even when there isn’t any. Our fear-based feelings are trying to keep us safe from non-threatening situations, which include those that would ultimately be expansive. We still experience the physical and mental symptoms of fear (to greater or lesser degrees), hence the legitimate belief that this everyday fear is solely limiting.
[All the scientists can stop cringing and come out from behind the sofa now, I’ve stopped my version of the scientific explanation 😝😝]
But I’m going to use this thought process as the reason for thinking of my fears as my friends, and I invite you to do some journaling to give it a whirl and do the same.
Your fears are not flaws, they’re part of the story of you.
In the same way that there are two sides to a coin, or two sides to every story, your fears are actually of benefit to you as well as a disservice holding you back.
For example, if you fear that you’re not an expert in your subject and you feel imposter syndrome at the thought of positioning yourself as such.
In what way could this be a benefit to the way you think and/or behave?
- You recognise the importance of your subject
- You are serious about the role you’re taking on
- You want to be able to back up the claims you make about yourself
All positive goals for someone wanting position themselves as an expert and charge for their services, I’d say.
Do you agree?
Your fear has highlighted what’s important to you, so that you can direct your energy to focus on that instead of maintaining your focus on the way this fear could hold you back.
Doing this work is part of building your business mindset so that it supports you as you continue to build your business.
👉In your journal, write down the fears that are holding you back in your life and business.
👉Now look at the way or ways in which that fear is a benefit to the way you think and/or behave
👉Consider what your fear has revealed about what’s important to you
👉How will you focus on moving forward based on this?
Let me know how you get on, won’t you?
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